Log 009 ◄► Voice

[roboredom]

[Surely, Luceti, you were not prepared for the loud, robotic voice blaring over the journals with no warning. Nor the fact that in the video feed, he is reflecting a bright light off of his face.

He might be doing the reflection portion on purpose.] I HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU DEFECTIVE BEINGS. THINK LONG AND HARD, AND GIVE ME AN HONEST ANSWER. BECAUSE I'LL BECOME THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF PISSED OFF IF I GET A FAKE ANSWER. REALLY ANGRY.

WHICH OF YOU THINK YOU ARE SUPERIOR THAN ME? [Pause.] BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT.

[It's almost like a rhetorical question. This is definitely an informative PSA brought to you by Robo-Ky.]

Comments

[haveiliedtoyou]

Unless you're relegated to simple data-gathering procedures or other inane tasks like button pushing.

[roboredom]

BUTTON PUSHING IS AMAZING. [Sometimes, when Robo-Ky pushes buttons? Things around his explode.]

[haveiliedtoyou]

Unfortunately it is also trivial.

[roboredom]

YOU TRY ACTIVATING THINGS WITHOUT BUTTON PUSHING!

[haveiliedtoyou]

Meanwhile you can try keeping the most advanced computer program in the world under control by only pushing buttons.

Actually, to spare you the trouble, I'll just tell you it was already tried. And it didn't work.

[roboredom]

THAT IS BECAUSE SOMETHING DEFECTIVE PROBABLY HAPPENED. HUMANS ALWAYS MAKE REALLY STUPID MISTAKES!

[He is wondering what computer program this is supposed to be.]

[haveiliedtoyou]

Of course they do. After all, someone has to be responsible for your existence.

[roboredom]

I'M THE ONLY PERFECT EXISTENCE HE HAS EVER CREATED. THE REST OF THEM ARE AWFUL, AND HE SUCKS AT LIFE.

[haveiliedtoyou]

We've already disproved your so-called perfection. Are you really that incapable of coming up with something new?

[roboredom]

I COULD IF I HAD TO! BUT I DON'T!

[haveiliedtoyou]

Because you don't want to prove that you can't beat me, and instead would rather not even try to allow for the slight possibility of it happening in the future. Which it won't.

[roboredom]

[...........]

YOU'RE ANNOYING AS HELL, YOU KNOW THAT? [This is the best comeback he could honestly come up with.]

[haveiliedtoyou]

And you're not nearly as intelligent as you make yourself out to be. But we both know that.

[roboredom]

NO! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! [About that, is what he meant to say. But well. He didn't.]

[haveiliedtoyou]

Yes. We're both quite aware of that as well.

[roboredom]

[........ Waaaait a minute.] YOU TRICKED ME, DIDN'T YOU.

[haveiliedtoyou]

You fell into such a simple trap that I almost feel as if taking the credit for "tricking" you would only serve to lower my current levels of intelligence. Maybe next time I should just make a "Sign here if stupid" list and hand it right to you.

[roboredom]

HAH! I WOULDN'T BE STUPID ENOUGH TO SIGN THAT! THE JOKE'S ON YOU!

[He's sort of missing the point, but what can you do.]

[haveiliedtoyou]

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

[roboredom]

GI GI GI GI. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE WRONG?

[haveiliedtoyou]

I wouldn't know. I'm sure you're a much better answerer of that question that I am.

[roboredom]

BUT I AM ASKING YOU, SINCE YOU'RE WRONG!

[haveiliedtoyou]

Considering the situation is hypothetical, it's impossible for me to be wrong unless we set up such an experiment and see the results. Otherwise we're forming conclusions based on pure speculation.

Which would make you wrong in your assessment that I am wrong.

[roboredom]

STOP TRYING TO TRICK ME WITH WORDS AND FACE IT. YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ME SIGNING THAT STUPID LIST!

[haveiliedtoyou]

Remember that thing about you not wanting to prove you can't beat me, so you didn't even want to try? What we have here is a similar situation. Except in this case I'm not putting it off because I know I'll be wrong. I'm delaying it because you're not here for me to test.