Log 010 ◄► Voice

[roboredom]

[There's been occasions where Robo-Ky has seen people asking for help or advice over the journals. This is an occasion where he believes that he needs assistance, but he doesn't want to show any weaknesses for asking. Which is why he's going to do it like this. It's also called being a jackass.]

I DEMAND ASSISTANCE FOR A PROJECT. HOWEVER, I WILL ONLY ACCEPT ASSISTANCE FROM A NON-DEFECTIVE HUMAN. IF YOU ARE DEFECTIVE, YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED! AS IS THE MAN WHO REPAIRED ME LAST JUNE. YOU SUCK.

[What is this project? Robo-Ky has the ability to produce miniature versions of himself. These miniatures are able to walk around, make noises, and then explode -- all to Robo-Ky's twisted command. However, the only miniature he has been able to make has been completely broken and mangled. And he isn't doing a good job of fixing it.

He wants his little explosive buddy to work, dammit.] PROVE TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE!

Comments

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

Define 'defective', and what do you see as proof otherwise?

[voice]

[roboredom]

RIGHT NOW? AN IDIOT WHO WOULD SCREW EVERYTHING UP. OR JUST ANY OLD REASON TO BE DEFECTIVE.

... I DON'T KNOW, IMPRESS ME.

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

...What do you say about a man who has stolen a nine story tall statue with hot air balloons, then?

[voice]

[roboredom]

I'D SAY THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE BULL.

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

And? You assume wrong.

[voice]

[roboredom]

WHAT WAS THE STATUE MADE OF? PAPER?

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

Copper. About two tons worth.

[voice]

[roboredom]

THEN HOW COULD YOU LIFT IT WITH A HOT AIR BALLOON!?

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

How? With lots of determination, of course!

[voice]

[roboredom]

WHAT? THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING! [The robot doesn't understand determination. Even though he has it.]

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

I'm Arsene Lupin III, the Greatest Thief of the Century. It explains everything.

[voice]

[roboredom]

THAT EXPLAINS EVEN LESS THAN BEFORE!

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

I speak the truth! You're choice on whether you believe me or not!

[voice]

[roboredom]

THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION SOUNDS LIKE A FAIRY TALE THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. HOW CAN YOU THINK YOU'D PASS THIS OFF AS REAL?

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

It is real. I can't help you if you don't believe me.

[voice]

[roboredom]

BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. HOW DO YOU LIFT A STATUE WITH HOT AIR!?

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

SCIENCE!!

It's not that hard!

[voice]

[roboredom]

I KNOW SCIENCE! SCIENCE IS WHAT CREATED ME!

I STILL CAN'T THINK OF ANY POSSIBLE WAY...!

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

It takes lots of hot air and lots of really strong rope. Physics does the rest.

[voice]

[roboredom]

...

YOU'RE INSANE.

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

Maybe, but I know I have more fun than you.

[voice]

[roboredom]

YOU HAVE FUN BEING INSANE? [That's an option?]

[voice]

[redjacketthief]

Well, it's more fun than being not insane!

...What was it that you needed help with? I'm pretty good with my hands.

[voice]

[roboredom]

[Robo-Ky pulls out a miniature version of himself onto the video feed.] FIXING THIS. IT WON'T LIVE.

[video]

[redjacketthief]

[Lupin stares at the miniature for a moment with a surprised expression, but it's quickly replaced with an amused smile. This...robot. They were of similar minds.]

...Robotics aren't my specialty, but I've rigged up remote explosives, timed traps, and made decoys not too unlike that. I also know some programming--what do you want it to do?